Maryland

Saturday morning I was up bright and early, getting ready to see family.  Aunt Kate, who Lainey Katherine was named after, her grandson Joseph and other family members I love as well.  

My Mom and I drove to Street, MD.  We passed strawberry festivals, we passed churches having dinners...and we kept saying, "oh, that would be nice on stop at on the way home". 

At first we got to visit with Aunt Kate, then Joseph and Sherie came over, eventually Jennifer stopped in for a few minutes I sat arm in arm with Uncle George.  It was so good to be with everyone.  

Once we left there we headed straight to the cemetery.  

 Something surreal about driving up.  How have I managed to live through all of this?  Rick and I both feel so grateful to have the lives of our babies "noted".  Their names listed for others to see.  What might people think when they see it?  Will they wonder how we've been?  Will they shed a few tears?  Will they be surprised that we lost two babies so far apart?  

I've been here plenty of times before and from Ricky and Lainey I have always been drawn to other grave markers.  A larger marker diagonally from my babies labeled "NIGHT RIDER".   Just beyond that one is another, in clear site.  

 I've seen this one before, but it just never stood out to me like today.  

Beloved Son of David & Shirley Brown.  

Oct 23, 1971.  

There I stood, 43 years old, born just 4 days after their baby.  I'm the age of their son, they lost 43 years ago.

I lived, he didn't.  

I imagined his parents standing on these grounds having to do what we've done.  My heart breaking for them and myself.  His flowers had fallen over, and grass had grown over them, making it difficult to pick up.  But I pulled them out of the weeds and placed them upright again.  

David and Shirley I'm so sorry you had to bury your son 43 years ago.  It's been 22 years for us this year, will we see the 43rd year?  It seems like we have already lived a lifetime without our children, to think we still have another 21+ years, just depressing.  

It was still hard to leave my babies, at times I just wanted to lay on the ground and stay with them. Part of me wanted to give up and just stay there.  The other part wanted to trust God's plan, believe in it and know we are blessed.  

We are blessed.