I've been researching this topic, salt in a wound it usually accompanies talk of postpartum with a baby. So very little, I mean little, as in nothing, is really written about it sans baby.
I've tried telling people I'm not myself, I don't feel well...
They don't get it, most think I'm laying around crying about my baby who has died.
I have some moments of that of course, I'm human.
My reality is much of what is listed, dissatisfaction with everyone/everything.
Quick to temper.
Honestly I feel like I'm going crazy.
The isolation does not help, but then who really wants to be with a crazy person?
I don't like feeling this way. I don't.
Some days I wish I could just commit myself, find a magic pill so this will end.
Oh my gosh, you do not know the relief I feel in that last sentence.
To be free from this!
I had a terrible bout of this the other night.
More than once, this thought has crossed my mind.
(I am not suicidal, I am just not well)
I'm too good at hiding it, I suppose.
At this point in time, people aren't as sympathetic as they once were.
Patience wears thin, people have moved on.
I've moved on in a sense. I understand the plan.
Currently I'm held a prisoner by the hormones.
"Being depressed isn't a choice...it is a biological, neuro-chemical imperative; a downhill slide in an uphill battle, pushing one hand against the mountain that feels like it's crumbling down around you while you try to reach all the leaking holes in the breaking dam with the other hand".
Kina diez deleon via human in recovery.
True.
No one can understand unless they've been through it.
I've gone through this really only once before, never with such vengeance.
Imagine postpartum, imagine how difficult it can be.
Then imagine it without a baby.
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